Spanking the Monkey...

I’ve heard tons of other names for this; yellow paging, tickling the turkey, rubbing one out, taking the sausage hostage, burping the worm, stroking the bean, visiting Rosie Palm and her five lonely daughters… (well, you catch my drift), but spanking the monkey always puts a smile on my face. Lol.
I hadn’t tried it until recently, I guess I’m a bit of a prude in some way, but after a couple of steamy conversations with C.G, and me not having an outlet for all that energy, he persuaded me to try.
First thing I realized is that I wasn’t as informed about my intimate bits as I thought I was. I had to get a yellow paging crash course from a guy. And here I was thinking I was one of the most knowledgeable of all my friends. Anyway, having lost my pride and realizing I didn’t have much else to lose; I swallowed my pride and gave it a try.
Second thing I realized is that I have control issues of some sort. I thought my aversion to head was shyness or nervousness but I realized I just don’t like not being in control. I don’t mind giving head, but I’m not cool with getting it. How did I discover my control issues through yellow paging? I couldn’t let go enough to give myself a happy ending. I went through all that and I couldn’t even finish myself off? Balls…
Third thing I realized, I could never make it a habit. Forget not getting my happy ending, I got there eventually, but there’s nothing that can substitute sex for me. It’s been months (and counting) since I got any but after sex chat with C.G came to an end, I haven’t tickled my cherry, or felt the urge to. I can’t be assed. I know guys can do it pretty much on the daily, but do girls get addicted too?
Fourth thing I realized, I really need to get me some action!! Any volunteers…? ;)