Back In The Day

This post was inspired by Cuppatea's last post.. check him out on http://colourful-cuppatea.blogspot.com/

When I was in high school, all the girls were obsessed with being skinny… what am I saying? They still are! But for the purpose of moving on with this post, let’s stick to the highschool days.
Many a lunchtime would pass where some girls would only nibble at something, most opting not to eat, and some going the Mary – Kate route. I wasn’t in any of these categories; I was the odd one out, pigging out with the boys. I’d love to tell you that this was because I was confident about my body, but sadly, that is not the case.
I was skinny.
Painfully so.
Much unlike my counterparts, I was dying to put on weight, not to lose any. I was the stick – thin girl and save for my (already) large breasts, I pretty much looked like a boy.
I wore baggy pants because I thought they would somehow mask my skinny legs. I even wore shorts on the inside to give the appearance of wider hips and a more curvaceous ass. I tried everything, even investing in a few very impractical white pairs of jeans!
But nothing doing.
And so I resorted to my last defense, making fun of my boyish shape… well, boobs aside =P

Then came boarding school for my A levels, mother dearest thought it would be prudent to send me to another country... so off I went... and with it all came a whole new bag of insecurities…
See the girls in this country… voluptuous would be an understatement! And so I began to pig out on everything and anything. unfortunately for me, boarding school food isn’t prepared with the healthy type of oil and well, let’s just say I became more appley than peary…
Then I did something that I am very ashamed of; I pulled Mary – Kate y’all! I started throwing up when I ate and starving myself until I couldn’t stand it… and 15 minutes later I was back in the bathroom; fingers down my throat. It got so bad that I passed out once during a school assembly. I don’t know what was more embarrassing, the fainting or my pants almost falling off as they carried my off to the sick bay…
With age comes wisdom (well, usually…) and I realized that my body was mine forever and I would eventually have to accept it for what it was. And so I did. I even embraced my tiger – like stretch marks on my butt and stopped wearing shorts with my bikinis =)
I recently put on about 5kgs and I’m loving it! My hips and ass are rounder and I couldn’t be happier!
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have days where I felt fat or ugly, but surprisingly, they are less and less common. And I think that’s because I have learned to love and accept myself. And that ladies and gentlemen (brace yourselves for an über cliché line) is the greatest gift you can give yourself…
Jheez, that last line was horrible, the weed must be eating away at my brain already =D
xox